The world is full of things you can take out of context. This gets demonstrated every Sunday and every election cycle. But I don't have cable or a political campaign, so I feel like I'm missing out on the fun. Then one night at dinner I was warding off my son's attempt to put his food in my ear, and it dawned on me.
I, too, can exploit your lack of contextual knowledge for our mutual entertainment.
I have an unlimited source of soundbites, because as a parent you find yourself saying really weird things.
Really weird.
So here goes. Ten things I've said to my kid, and afterwards caught myself with cocked head pondering the strange events that lead me to say such a thing. I'll have more of these as the years drag on. Until the internet is obsolete and my blog withers to dust. Well, virtual dust.
1. Don't put the fish in my ear.
2. No more milk until you've eaten more pizza.
3. Don't put the potty chair on your face!
4. No coloring on the TV.
5. Doors are part of walls, until they are open, and then they STILL can't be driven on.
6. Say "Pea on the table!"... no wait. Don't ever say that.
7. I'm sorry. You can't have more broccoli, you ate it all.
8. You can't have broccoli on your pancakes.
9. Don't lick my pants.
10. Yeah, you can blow raspberries on me, but don't pull down my shirt to do it.
(I'm really excited for personal boundaries to be a lesson learned, rather than one in progress.)
If you figure out the personal boundaries thing at all let me know! I'm still working daily with that one!
ReplyDeleteWill do. Although I can't be doing too bad at it since he respects the personal boundaries of his babysitters. Right? He never tried to blow raspberries on YOUR chest, did he?
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